Pregnancy: The 2014/2015 Football League season has been conceived

Posted on August 11, 2014 in Articles

By Laura Jones. Laura Jones looks at the nine-month gestation period of the Football League season. So Football League fans, your season has been conceived. Was your weekend a depressing fumble in some dark out of town place? Was it an average dalliance with an equally average partner? If you were lucky it was something so glorious you could hear angels singing (I’m looking at you Bournemouth fans). Now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. For some, like Huddersfield Town, that will mean raising baby alone for a while. Here’s a look at what to expect over the next nine months.

One and Done: Huddersfield boss Mark Robins paid ultimate price for a 4-0 loss to Bournemouth on the first day of the season

One and Done: Huddersfield Town boss Mark Robins paid the ultimate price for a 4-0 defeat to Bournemouth on the first day of the season – departing the club by ‘mutual consent’ just hours later

The First Trimester

Many changes will start to happen in the first 12 weeks. Hormonal changes will affect almost every fan. Mood swings will become more noticeable amongst fans as they shout, despair and come close to tears about new signings not bedding in or the Chairman not having spent enough money over the summer.

Cravings for other players will start to happen, in some cases you’ll find there is an utter distaste for a footballer you actually once enjoyed. Sickness may occur in the mornings, especially on Saturdays (and Sunday’s depending on the result).

While all these changes are happening to your club, you will either start to blossom with a certain glow about you or feel discomfort whatever position you’re in.

Wolverhampton Wanderers got off to an ideal start, beating the newly relegated Norwich 1-0

Wolverhampton Wanderers got off to an ideal start, beating newly-relegated Norwich 1-0

The Second Trimester

Most find the second trimester easier than the first. You’re getting used to the changes, the excited nausea subsides and the fatigue about the state of your club becomes a normal daily occurrence. These symptoms may start to ease over the Christmas and New Year period (this is not guaranteed for all clubs).

You will notice in this stage you will start to expand. You might start adding weight up front or some will see a sizeable expansion across the back. The loan and transfer windows will guarantee you see growth in the club.

Itchy palms can also be a symptom over this period but this usually the Chairman thinking about having to spend money.

The Third Trimester

You may have trouble sleeping over this period. There’s anxiety about what the end result will be like and how you will cope. Some describe shortness of breath or heartburn but these are common symptoms. If your belly button starts to stick out it might be time to lay off the pies.

False labour may occur, where you think your season is over, but bear in mind it’s never over until you see your final table screaming at you.

Manchester City sealed the Premier League title on the final day of the 2013/14 season

Labour

It’s time. You’ll know when the season ending contractions start because they’ll cause discomfort, often in waves.

When it’s time you’ll push and push with each match. Every game counts. Finally you wait for the League to say, ‘Congratulations, it’s a promotion.’

Just remember, it doesn’t matter what your season looks like as long as it is a healthy one and it all starts with that one knee trembling match in August.

Which teams do you tip for Football League glory and heartbreak this season?

Read more from Laura Jones here!

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