The Offside Rule Agony Aunts: A Few Words From Management

Posted on August 25, 2014 in Articles

By Shafi Musaddique. The arrival of new manager Ronald Koeman has been one of many comings and goings in recent months at Southampton Football Club. Koeman (Shafi Musaddique) has kindly written a few words to introduce himself to the Offside Rule Pod presenters!

Dear Hayley, Lynsey and Kait,

I’m sure many Premier League managers have written to you before, but this is the first time you will have received correspondence from me. You may only be familiar with me because of my free kick against England many decades ago now, but I can forgive you for that. Graham Taylor has yet to accept my penance though.

I’ve found in my brief time so far in England that the football fans here have a love for nostalgia. I can’t see why, when there is so much to look forward to. That is what I keep on telling my boys on the south coast, despite the fact that they leave me one after another. If I’m completely honest, I’m seething inside. My Dutch temperament is only a moment away from boiling over – club owner/chairwoman Ms Liebherr wouldn’t pick up her phone on her summer holiday in the Swiss Alps for months on end, then suddenly I found out the bank balance has swelled incomparably, having let go of five star players.

Koeman was left furious after losing four of his best players before he'd even had time to say the word Southampton

Bygone Era: Koeman had no time to settle in at St. Mary’s, with Lambert, Lallana, Lovren, Shaw and Chambers all departing within weeks of his arrival

The fact that there is no sign of panic at St Mary’s (yet) is testament to my cool, calm and collected manner. Just look at how I managed to deploy British sarcasm in my tweet about the empty training field. Was it done on purpose? Of course not. In fact, I had to wait a whole two hours before any of the remaining players turned up. Unnerved by the solitude at training, I decided tweet at the Offside Rule Podcast for help, thinking you Agony Aunts may have an online service. (I would really recommend it; a bit of Dutch innovation will go a long way). Alas, a photo tells the public of Southampton’s struggles. As a new Premier League manager, do I embrace humour or wallow in self-pity? I like to think I’m a good guy, and that my managerial reign will be longer than either of my compatriots Gus Hiddink or Ruud Gullit. Here’s hoping for a great season!

Regards,

R.K

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