‘Friends, directors, Mancunians, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Moyes, not to praise him.’
As Ryan Giggs takes his seat in the press conference to speak for the first time as Manchester United’s interim manager, there is an air of familiarity about the circumstances that surround his appointment.
It is serendipitous that David Moyes should be sacked on William Shakespeare’s 450th birthday, because his story is remarkably similar to one of the Bard’s most famous tragedies, Julius Caesar.
Although Moyes’ transcendence to leader was a little less bloody than Caesar’s, he took charge of a waning nation. Caesar brought with him his close friend Brutus as an ally and confidante, a figure not dissimilar to Phil Neville.
Brutus is quickly cajoled into discussing the overthrow of Caesar by a conspiratorial group of senators. Let’s call these senators Scholes, Butt and Giggs.
The senators convince Brutus that Julius Caesar intends to turn the Republic of Manchester United into a monarchy, where he is king and all defenders must watch videos of how Leighton Baines trains.
The conspirators even buy a local team, Salford City, to act as a feeder club for the nation of Manchester United, a chance to hone their skills of leadership.
The current United players continue to underperform as they join the conspiracy to end Caesar’s reign.
Brutus struggles with his conscience but there is growing support for the conspiring senators from the general public. They start petitions and organise a plane fly-by with the words ‘Wrong One – Moyes Out’ flying over a once dominating stadium.
From the angry crowd a soothsayer warns Caesar to ‘Beware the Ides of March’, an ancient Roman holiday, but Moyes rejects these premonitions. March brings the beginning of the end for the Devil’s Caesar. Two devastating 0-3 losses at home to closest rivals Manchester City and Liverpool and the assassination of Caesar begins.
The conspirators stab Caesar one by one until the final puncture wound is caused at the emperor’s former kingdom, Goodison Park. A 2-0 defeat to Everton cannot be tolerated and here endeth Caesar’s Manchester United managerial career.
Brutus remains in post alongside the conspirators as a newly formed coaching staff until the end of the season. Caesar calls out to him ‘’Et tu Phillip”. The regicide is over.
The conspirators claim that they committed the act for the good of Manchester United but up steps Marc-Antony (Ryan Giggs) to distance himself from the treacherous act and to put himself forward as the new leader of Rome using a famous speech to capture the fans and a return to winning ways.
“It’s going to be my philosophy, United’s philosophy. I want the players to play with passion, speed, tempo, imagination – all the things I expect of a United player. Most of all, enjoy it.”
An attack with military precision. Now for Giggs to lead his nation and find his Cleopatra.
Is Ryan Giggs the right man to take Manchester United forward in the long term? Could the Class of ’92 lead the Red Devils to silverware next season? Who’s to blame for Moyes treacherous time at Old Trafford?
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