The Offside Treble – Tough talking Pellegrini, Alan Pardew “the broken” & Caulker the Criminal

This week Jen Offord takes a look at Frank Lampard’s reincarnation as a Manchester City player, Steven Caulker’s dairy product disaster and more!

Not So Special

Manchester City boss, Manuel Pellegrini, made headlines SEVERAL TIMES this week for mouthing off, not least for voicing the thoughts of EVERYONE by stating that the Capital One Cup is “important” (this isn’t what we were all thinking) but “not special” (this is).

But it didn’t stop there! Never one to resist having a pop at someone else he doesn’t consider all that special, it was handbags at dawn again between Pellegrini and Chelsea Manager, Jose Mourinho, after their 1-1 draw on Sunday.

Frank Lampard was lucky to receive a warm reception from Chelsea fans, even after scoring against his former club

Frank Lampard was lucky to receive a warm reception from Chelsea fans, even after scoring against his former club

Former Chelsea player, Frank Lampard, came on as a second-half substitute to score the equaliser five minutes from full-time, denying his old team a win. Still, sitting pretty three points clear at the top of the league, Mourinho didn’t seem too bothered by Pellegrini comparing Chelsea’s tactics to a “smaller” team, or even when he implied Lampard was pushed to leave Chelsea at the end of last season. Mourinho declined to comment in his own way, by sort of saying he likes dwelling in the past but once a player leaves Chelsea, they’re dead to him. It’s how I feel about Alan Curbishley, to be fair.

Breaking Bad

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the table, Newcastle manager Alan Pardew continues, almost inexplicably, to hold onto his job. It has been a pretty dismal start to the season. What does he have over the bosses at Newcastle, one wonders, or are they just in the thrall of his steely, blue-eyed stare?

Broken Man: Alan Pardew has lost the faith of just about every Newcastle fan

Broken Man: Alan Pardew has lost the faith of just about every Newcastle fan

Pardew’s face was sad this week, when BBC pundit Robbie Savage labelled him a “broken man”. Having last week accused Newcastle fans of being hysterical about the team’s early season woes, Pards hit back at Savage’s comments, saying it’d be nice if “professionals in the game” reflected the dignity that he’s trying to uphold for the sake of his team. Savage has got him on a technicality, however, having said he “sounded” like a broken man, rather than that he actually was a broken man, so he’s having none of it. Ever the magnanimous one, Savage does hope his comments will help Pardew keep his job. Yes. Really.

Every Little Helps

Rounding off this turbulent week in the Premier League, dramatic scenes ensued outside a branch of Tesco in Surrey which saw Queens Park Rangers defender, Stephen Caulker, handcuffed by police after leaving the store then promptly turning around and going to head back in again.

In less dramatic news, Caulker then spoke to officers for about five minutes before he was released from his shackles after it appeared there had been a “misunderstanding between staff about payment” for, err, a tub of Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

Bleacher Report's depiction of what Steven Caulker's alleged theft may have looked like...

Bleacher Report’s depiction of what Steven Caulker’s alleged theft may have looked like…

It reminds me of the time I set off the security alarm in Topshop as I was leaving, only to find a pair of frilly pants had attached themselves to the woolly scarf I was wearing. Fortunately, the security guard found it as amusing as the group of lads watching events unfold in Tesco car park.


Read more from Jen Offord here!

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