The Offside Treble – hypocrisy from Redknapp, Sterling’s alleged hedonism and happy birthday Mr Wenger

This week Jen expresses her typically amusing opinion on Abel Taarabt’s fat-gate and the rumours of Raheem Sterling’s late night partying, as well as sending her regards to the birthday boy Arsene Wenger. 

Is Harry secretly hiding the body of an Adonis?

Is Harry secretly hiding the body of an Adonis?

Fat Man’s Walk

Never one to shy away from saying something that might get picked up by the papers, in public, beleaguered QPR boss, Harry Redknapp, decided he couldn’t “protect people who don’t want to run and train”. Speaking of Moroccan midfielder, Adel Taarabt, who has not been started a game since late August, Harry claimed Taarabt is “not fit to play football” adding that he is “about three stone overweight”. OUCH. I wonder how many stone overweight Harry is?

If the desired outcome of this outburst was to deflect attention from himself, as his managerial position starts to look somewhat precarious, I’m not sure it worked. Taarabt quickly retaliated by getting his kit off for the Daily Mail to “prove” just how fit he is, thank you very much, Harry. Compared to the stomachs of most of the ale-drinking, Ginsters munching chaps I know, I’m sure Taarabt’s scores favourably. Harry disagrees, in his subsequent interview with The Sun, quipping even he could “look ok” if he sucked his stomach. I don’t believe him.

It’s like an episode of Hollyoaks – the totally absence of sense is baffling. Imagine the kind of minefield you’d be working in if you got to be interviewed by The Sun every time Judith from accounts irritated you? Club Chairman, Tony Fernandes has now stepped in, to quite rightly point out how desperately embarrassing it all is to witness, and apologising to fans for their conduct.

Hot Fun in the Summertime

Meanwhile, Raheem Sterling could be in hot water after it was reported he’d been out partying til 3am, the day after claiming he was too tired to report for international duty in England’s Euro 2016 qualifier against Estonia.

And it’s a schoolboy error that has landed Sterling in it, having apparently not actually bothered to stay too far away from his pals’ camera phones. The Liverpool winger was snapped with a gaggle of young ladies and West Indies batsman, Chris Gayle, back in July.

It’s a terrible feeling when you have to revisit previously discounted remarks made by Harry Redknapp, who earlier in the summer claimed he was forever being asked to excuse his young players from international duties, as Tottenham manager, and consider whether or not there may have been any truth in them. We know how Ian Wright would deal with it, but I’m still undecided on Sterling’s greatest crime – being disloyal to his national team or donning a leather T shirt and mutton chops that would have made Sly of The Family Stone fame (look it up kids, he’s a musical genius) proud.

Too Bad On Your Birthday

Finally, this week we wish bon anniversaire to Arsene Wenger, who turned 65 on Wednesday. The Daily Mail online marks the occasion with a photographic retrospective of his career over the last 30 years, leading me to draw the conclusion that Wenger is, in fact, a vampire. Relive Wenger’s alarming Ursula Andress moment on Copacaban beach, earlier this summer, and Cesc Fabergas’ truly astounding mullet of yesteryear, here.

But we must also commemorate the tenth anniversary of my favourite football story of all time: Pizzagate. Yes, it’s ten years this week since that once-mulletted scamp, Fabergas (allegedly) lobbed a pizza at his rival’s then manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, in the tunnel after Arsenal’s 2-0 defeat by Manchester United. The incident was thus described by then Arsenal player, Ashley Cole:

“All eyes turned and all mouths gawped to see the pizza slip off that famous puce face and roll down his nice black suit”.

Great use of “puce”.

Read more from Jen Offord here!

Follow @inspireajen

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