The Offside Treble – Farewell Steven Gerrard, FIFA shakeup and moaning Mourinho’s comeuppance

In this week’s installment of The Offside Treble Jen muses on the announcement that Steven Gerrard is set to join LA Galaxy, as well as looking at the upcoming FIFA presidential election, before applauding the FA for charging the ever-grumbling Jose Mourinho.

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Beat the Clock

Following Steven Gerrard’s announcement last week, of his planned departure from current club Liverpool – to play in the USA’s Major League Soccer at the end of this season – it has this week been confirmed he’ll join LA Galaxy.

Gerrard revealed that the decision to leave Liverpool, his team since 1987, was inspired by discussions about the inevitability of him starting in fewer games, to make room for younger players. Far from the rumoured rift between Gerrard and his boss, the scouse legend said he wished his time with Rodgers had started earlier in his professional career.

On his decision to sign with LA Galaxy, Gerrard commented that he’d been drawn to their recent success (ouch, Liverpool), and hoped to add more trophies to his collection. Presumably he’s been missing these at Anfield recently.

Let’s hope their season picks up and Gerrard leaves on the high he deserves after such an impressive tenure.

Talking ‘bout a revolution

Over in Sepp Blatter’s evil lair, things may be looking up. With Blatter set to defend his seat as FIFA President in arguably the more interesting election due to be held this May (I fear it may be necessary to point out the other election is the UK General Election) against contender, and apparently the ‘Frenchest’ man of all time, Jerome Champagne, a third candidate has thrown his hat into the ring.

“But surely three candidates mean even more opportunities to oust the Dungeon Master!” I hear you cry, “A (late) Christmas miracle! Three cheers for democracy!”. But could this very democracy rob us of a chance to depose the dictatorship of Blatter? And I shall tell you for why…

The emergence of Jordanian Prince Ali as a candidate might act against those trying to oust Blatter because it SPLITS THE ANTI BLATTER VOTE. Imagine if you will a swing-o-meter. 40% vote to keep Blatter and 60% vote against him. But what if there’s no clear front runner betwixt Ali and Champagne? 30% vote for both and Blatter remains the man with the most votes. But I’m sure it’s all completely above board and not designed to split the vote thus maintaining the (possibly) corrupt status quo at the top of football’s governing body. *stows away tinfoil hat*


The good news this week is that Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho has been charged with misconduct for proudly wearing his tinfoil hat, claiming that all referees are out to get his team. After his team were denied a penalty at Southampton on 28 December, in a 1-1 draw, Mourinho drew the logical conclusion that Chelsea had fallen foul of a “campaign” to influence referees against their team. He also believes that the Royal Family are secretly 12-feet-long reptiles (he doesn’t, I don’t think. At least he’s never told me he does. I’m just guessing).

The FA took umbrage with Mourinho’s assertion that referees are being swayed by the media and other managers to cheat Chelsea out of valuable points, which is fair enough – because it does seem rather unlikely – and charged him with misconduct on the grounds that his comments imply bias and bring the game into disrepute.

Here’s another thing that brings the game into disrepute, Mourinho, you plonker… DIVING!

Read more from Jen Offord here!

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