Only the news you need – bringing you five mainstream and five off-the-wall news stories each day!
1. Suspended FIFA President Sepp Blatter has lost his appeal against the provisional 90-day suspension that he was slapped with by the footballing body’s ethics committee. Michel Platini lost his appeal too, further hurting his chances of running for FIFA President in February.
2. Luis Suarez has said that his fellow Barcelona forward Lionel Messi is looking sharp in training but admitted there are still doubts over whether not the Argentine will play in El Clasico on Saturday, with Suarez labelling the injury as proposing ‘risks for the future.’
3. The father of Barcelona’s other forward, Neymar, has said that if the Spanish authorities continue in their investigations regarding the financial affairs of his son, then they’ll leave the country.
4. We all know by now that Zlatan Ibrahimovic knows exactly how to make a headline, but even he upped his game last night after claiming that he had single-handedly sent the entire Danish nation into retirement, after scoring twice to knock the Danes out of the Euro 2016 playoffs.
5. Arsene Wenger is adamant that the injury crisis befalling his club is not his own doing, as he has again called on FIFA to act on the ‘impossible situation’ he faces in getting his players through a season without being injured.
6. It turns out not just the fans couldn’t believe that Manchester United signed Bebe a few years ago, the player himself couldn’t either (TalkSport).
7. No Pirlo, No Party, remember. One of the coolest footballers alive is keen to take his talents to France for Euro 2016, hence why he may be looking to tie up this loan move (Eurosport).
8. It appears Martin Skrtel may have been told his future lies away from Liverpool, after he was spotted on this Slovenian talent show (The Daily Mail).
9. When you’re an outfield player and you have to go in goal, you know your chances of scoring are pretty much over. Unless you’re this Bury midfielder … (ESPN).
10. We loved this particular clip of a woman (disguised as a man) showing the men how it is done on the pitch, before revealing her true identity! (The Daily Mirror)